First day as Primary Secretary

Today was my first day as you can see from the title that is was my first day as the Primary Secretary of the Leesburg Ward. It was nerve recking, because they pushed everything at me all at once I was stunned. I was not expecting to do so much. My day being at church ended around 3:30 - 4:00, and church started at 10:00. It was so much fun I was able to sing some of the primary songs I have not heard or sang in a very long time. I was also amazed at how smart all the kids were and even without the help of the teacher whispering things in their ear. I knew the church was organized I just didn't realize how. Everything is planned and detailed and it is exactly the way it should be. I was just so full of the Spirit when I began my mission as the secretary I was able to see things that I would not have seen before and I was just happy for the things that I know now are finally open unto me, so I can understand what I must do. Everything has a time and a place, the Spirit comes at certain times when we need it and I guess sometimes when we don't. ALOHA, ADIOS, & BYE!

To recieve my Endowments

For a while now I have been thinking that maybe I am ready to receive my endowments. Lately I have been trying to raise the bar on my standards, future, hopes and dreams, myself in general, just everything. Right now I feel I am ready to, I know I have to talk to the Bishop and everything but I am willing do whatever it takes. I asked my mom what she thought, I think she was a bit shocked or a bit unprepared how to respond to something like that, well parents aren't perfect and you cant ever expect them to be. How I feel about receiving my endowments, I feel like it is another beautiful part in what Heavenly Father wants for me and if He wants this for me then I know I need to be prepared to receive them and to keep them, to keep the commandments, and to obey what our church leaders tell us to do with a good attitude. One of the main reasons that I want to receive my endowments for is that when I get married my husband will know that I am one of our Heavenly Fathers willing servants, and to show my Heavenly Father that I am ready for what He has in store for me, that I will do whatever He asks of me with an open heart and mind. ALOHA, ADIOS, & BYE!

Mixed Range

Today I was having a mixed range of emotions and thoughts, like on how people judge others and how I need to improve myself in that area, and how I am trying to get everything situated so Nico can come down and I can start college in the Spring taking correspondence. My family has pushed me in the corner one to many times and I am starting to really see the marks from it all, I am getting depressed, I am mad all the time, I am questioning every single thing I do, more like criticizing myself. I just cannot seem to find a solid foundation for anything I want right now. I know my family in their past have screwed up their lives, because they finally told me, but it doesn't mean that I will make the same mistakes. I have grown from my own to realize the right and wrong for almost every outcome. Working,being with Nico, and the church seem to be the only things that make me happy right now, sadly being home isn't one of them. I want to live my own life, but I cant do that when someone is living it for me. ALOHA, ADIOS, & BYE!

Life's Plan

Why can't death be a beautiful part of life, the same as birth. To be born we must die, for there is nothing greater to leave behind life to be an example of your own. The natural man frightens the young, to decieve to say what life would be in the future, to stay and build apon it. We can, we can lay a foundation for those to come, a good and solid foundation for this time and our eternal life to come, that which comes from death. Don't be afraid of it, embrace it, for we must live elsewhere and move on....... After every situation today I always kept on saying to myself," It is just life." When really it's not. It is what life has become. Today I had my first encounter with a really well opinionated man he was yelling at Matt, Tiffany, and me for his cab not coming when he wanted it to come. He said to Tiffany," We are stupid." When he was talking well I should say yelling at me he was asking me in a rude response," Do you speak english." When really he was the one with the accent and noone could understand what he was saying. So I just ignored him sadly because it shouldnt have to be that way, people should not have to make a scene and ruin everyone else's day. All what I can do is pray for them, in hoping that they might change and have their heart softened. Well I have to go. ALOHA, ADIOS, & BYE!

Let it rain

I do not have work today, it feels really nice to have fun and relax. I have been cleaning all day long, it is one of my many hobbies. My room now smells like a (fruity) laundry room, YUM! It has been looking like it is going to rain all day, and I just want it to. Maybe I'll go and sit outside while it is down poring I haven't been able to really enjoy the rain since I was a little girl. I have so many memories of me and sometimes my sisters playing in the rain. Life to me seems much more peaceful when the tears of heaven come falling on a corrupt earth to slow down the moments that are at hand to have a chance to sit and reflect on ones memory, to improve the future or to take one step at a time. Bailey my dog has been sleeping on the floor for a long time and maybe I should put him on my bed, because i just cleaned it and it feels really soft (sighs). Really nothing much is going on today, except for texting on my phone or actually for the first time in forever really having a conversation with my family, and not have it turn into a fight. Got to go it is finally raining and I am going to take in well wear as much of it as I can. ALOHA, ADIOS, & BYE!