Held back

I finally tonight set up my Publix 401k (retirement) plan with my dad's help, I couldn't understand what all of that stuff meant. I should see on my next pay stub, or on the Internet that it should have something in it. My parents wanted us to have family quality time tonight oh my goodness that was interesting. All what we did was watch a movie, but really you can't do much of anything on a Sunday. I am working tomorrow 2:00 - 10:00. I have not closed in forever, so this is going to be interesting. When I was working Satuday last week it was so hot and I was tired and my eyes started to throb from the sunlight. My vision has been a bit off lately so I am going to see what I can do to protect my eyes at work, because people I have helped out have said that people in their families have serious damage to their eyes because of exposure to the sun, and now they said that they are almost blind so now they have to wear a hat and sunglasses just to protect what vision they have left right before they go blind. Church was fun I have finally been able to see my friends from my previous ward and other wards. I dont get it I feel like a complete stranger around them, I dont know how they have changed how they react to certain things I use to know them like the back of my hand, but with the way that my vision has been going I atleast hope to remember what it looks like. It is just that people have changed and I dont know in what way because I am not with them. I met some people that I was very very close to but when I saw them again for the first time in forever we barely even spoke there was only a hi and nothing else. I want to get back into painting I have my multiple paint brushes in a cup right next to my laptop, sitting there as I am hoping to gain some inspiration. Sometimes I feel as if my parents dont trust me, they say they dont trust the things that may happen, that something may happen on accident but really I am never going to learn a flippin thing if they keep on holding me back. Right now I feel so slow because I am so behind in what I need to do, when I am ready to leave this place I wont look back because He has something planned for me and I want to make sure I have nothing restraining me. I spent last night with Kattie and Jeremy at their apartment. All I can say is that, that night was very interesting they were asking me questions and I was answering them and they were answering mine. After all these years I am able to really know who my older siblings were and are today. All I can say is that I hope I can be an example to them maybe not but you will never know. I have to go Nico is texting me. :P ALOHA, ADIOS, & BYE!

"Turn the other cheek"

Since my last blog post I have reorganized my room, there is less in it now, so I am feeling one more step closer to relaxed. I cannot live in clutter, I just can't. I took everything that was in my dresser and I put my clothes on hangers in my closet. My dresser was originally in my closet because it was so small, but I always just wanted to do this. I forgot that in the bottom of my (use to be) desser drawer I had my grandpa's jacket that my grandma gave to my mom. I guess my grandma wanted my mom to have something of his, because from what I have heard over my years of carefully listening that they were really close. As I oh so gently picked it up, and with a deep breath I was able to smell a scent that I have once forgotten, a scent that will always be a forever memory in my mind. Work is getting better as the days go by, we have some people as I can nicely put it are independant, the people that rudely reject an offer of having help to their car. All I do is smile because I know for a fact that if someone is trying to be dominate over a situation they want the other person to feel small and to hope that they feel insecure, or they do it just to make them feel like crud, just because they are feeling like crud. Remember what they say," Turn the other cheek." Alice at work is trying to hook me up with some guy that she thinks fits her standards, and I have to say she does raise the bar. But I dont know about that. Yeah I respect others input on certain things but there are just some things that you just have to say no to. I havent drawn anything lately I have been way to busy. I am going to be registering to go to Lake Sumter in the spring, I finally have figured out what I want to do for my future career. I want to be a Kindergarden teacher! Wish me luck on that, I'll try to blog again as soon as I can. ALOHA, ADIOS, & BYE!

Bakery

I didnt have to work today but in a few minutes I will be going somewhere but right now was the best time to write on my blog. Yeah I am currently single again! You know what there are no restrictions that come along with being single! Right now I have some guys that I know that like me for me and I like them. Patience is a virtue and I plan on developing that attribute. Right now I am getting closer and closer on getting my drivers license, I finally have driven on a main road, I was so scared but at the same time I was so happy and I felt like I was flying literally! My store Manager from Publix says I may have a good chance in going to bakery. I want to be a cake decorator! I'm going to have some on the job training and I'm kind of scared but at the end of it all I know everything is going to be fine. I want to go full time an din the bakery I think you get better pay too but you cant get full time as a bagger or cashier, so that was a huge bummer for me. Blog you later. ALOHA, ADIOS, & BYE!

Future

I know it is like 12:00 in the morning but I couldnt sleep. I cant help but to think where am I going now that I am a year older an age of somewhat maturity in this world. How can I stand out from the crowd, and glorify my Father which is in heaven by the things that I do? How can I improve myself? I am always constantly thinking about my future and of course people my age are suppose to be thinking this stuff, well thats what all the elder people tell me from work. I just want to make this life her on this earth a good one one to remember, some memories I can take with me to the next life and to show my Heavenly Father that I was successful in my workings. Right now I am just focused on a car to buy, my drivers lisence to get in a month hopefully, and to start school in the spring. I am just constantly working, dont get me wrong I love my job and I am extremely grateful for it, but sometimes I get pretty worn out. People at work are dolls and I wouldnt change any of them, well I wish I could change a few but I am not a miracle worker. All what I can do is be nice to them and show them what is right by my actions that I demonstrate whether I am at work or whether I am not at work. Today that sounds kind of funny, today I am going to practice driving alittle bit more with my mom she is more patient thank goodness. I think Im going to be driving her car the Durango on the drivers test. Well I have to go to sleep because church is today and I want to be somewhat awake for it all, so good morning and I will blog as soon as I can. ALOHA, ADIOS, & BYE!

It has been a while

Over the past few months there have been trials, emotional rollercoasters, and changes of the heart. My life in ways have been changed at a very quick pace. I have come to understand that life gives you many problems but all you can do that I have figured out to better myself is just to smile and move on. I have come to regret over the past few months of not being able to write on my blog because in the future this may be all what is left of my life and i want it to be know as a life changer for some individuals. Of course just recently I have just had a birthday, my 18th birthday to be exact. Plus I just got my permit and in a month will be getting my Driver's Lisence. Oh yeah. Kattie has been down for two months in Florida to stay finally she has an apartment all up and ready to go, and in a little while Jeremy will be coming to Florida from Hawaii to finaly live with Kattie and the kids. Last but not least I have met a certain someone that I am happy to announce that we are in a relationship, it has only been a little while but I feel realy close to this individual and we plan to be together untill whatever happens. I am glad to be writing back on my Blog and I hope to be writing more soon. ALOHA, ADIOS, & BYE!